Hey Bestie: Who should pay on the first date?

Who should pay on the first date? I know it’s outdated, but I always believed the man should pay on the first date, but I just went out with one guy who insisted we share the bill, which kind of pushed me away. My friends tell me I’m unfair. What do you think?

Mind you … it’s the F-word … yes, ‘Finance’ that puts a lot of relationships in a swing.

With most couples entering into a relationship with some form of consumer debt that can negatively affect how the relationship succeeds, it is an important topic to discuss early and often.

Although what you have described may be considered ‘outdated’, it brings to the table an excellent topic of discussion.

If you think about it, the concept of who will pay on the first date is basically the first financial decision of the relationship.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting there will be more than one date, but if there is, a bonus … you’ve at least already figured out the financial split and might even be comfortable talking “finance” for the rest. of your relationship!

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When couples establish a relationship, the three most common things that bring them to couples are: communication, conflict, and finance.

Studies show that the more a couple agrees to their financial approach, the more likely they are to feel respected by each other. Basically, they will feel less controlled, manipulated or deceived by their partner.

Think of it this way: everyone has different budgets and rather than making assumptions (which should never appear in relationships), be honest about money from the start.

If you feel that one person has to pay on the first date, let that person know your thoughts. If you think it is fair to share the bill, then voice your opinion and if you want to cover the costs, also inform your partner.

If you’re looking for things to talk about, test your financial fitness, your financial background – how were you educated to think about money … do you save or spend?

Think about why it was sad to you when he asked to share the bill. Research done by Wharton School suggests that most people end up with what would be considered their financial opposite. How does that idea feel to you?

Regardless of who paid for the meal, did you enjoy the company? Would you like to go out with that person again? Could you see yourself with this person for a long time and can the person engage in a conversation that holds your attention for more than 5 minutes?

These are the questions worth asking after a date. While I do agree that everyone deserves to be nurtured, I also truly believe that everyone deserves to have great conversations.

Your beloved

Amanda xx

Amanda Lambros is a sexologist and relationship coach with nearly two decades of experience who is proud of her “no bs” approach to solving your problems. She is also a certified speaking professional and has written several books on relationships, health and business that have sold over 150,000 copies.

Do you have a question for Amanda? Email heybestie@wanews.com.au (don’t worry, we won’t publish your name!)

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